basically... dese few days.. i found out mani cases whereby it was love on impulse.. im nt saying dat im nt impulsive.. but ya.. i guess sum pple cannot differentiate between infatuation and love lah...
i mean if it was love on impulse.. den u hafta bear the brunt of it and the consequences dat follow..
honestly i dont bliff in couples dat quarrel all the time as a form of communication.. althou i noe most couples do dat... dey face a problem dey tackle it.. n dey enjoy arguing over very teeny weeny things jus for the sake of spicing up their lives...
but howeva.. i do realise dat dose pple hu childishly like to argue wif mi over small things usu. dont end up mi veri close frens or wadsoeva.. i realise dat dose i cherish n kip close mi by side r dose dat i usu. share a veri intimate n healthy relationship wifout ani arguments.. bickerings r veri common.. like mi n jingjing... we bicker alot.. but dat's different.. mi n sab nver really argued b4 i tink.. onli bickering

but ya... i guess u guys wld say.. dat's veri bad becos dat means wen i meet a problem i always run away... SPOT ON MAN... i wont deny wen got problem i try to avoid or take it as something trivial or wadsoeva.. n i noe it's wrong.. but... dere are always IMPERFECTIONS in a relationship.. n dat's mi.. n i havent changed it.. usu.. wens deres a problem.. i pretend it doesn exist.. or i jus try notta tink abt it.. n ignore it.. but ya.. usu. wen problems cum in major forms.. it jus resembles a dormant volcano on the brink of EXPLODING.. u noe u noe?

i prefers calm relationships dat r romantic.. i dno how mani gazillion pple tell mi dat doesnt exist.. n practically every single person is telling mi.. no grace u r too idealistic... a horrible perfectionist.. no such a thing ever exist in the world.. no relationship at our age lasts over 8mths.. no such guy exists...
but eh.. i wna bliff.. not ur business oso right...

i dont care whether it exists lah.. if it is meant to b tortue u.. den i rather not love in the fers place.. n i dont unds why pple chose to submerge themselves into such a pool wen dey aint even sure demselves wad dey wan..

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BEYOND SOCIAL SERVICES... basically sucks big time... problem wif the centre is.. dey arent even equipped wif proper teacher hu haf proper knowledge to teach the kids.. n ya.. i tink dey got the whole purpose of SL all messed up
damn sickening.. n the kids tok back to u.. but i dont really blame dem for dat.. but rather.. i dno.. i guess 300 000 donated by sum philanthropist is worth more den dis dirty environment, n nt veri literal teachers rite?
otherwise.. i tink the kids were alright.. n yaa.. im jus hoping.. one day dey will find their direction in life.. n fight for their own rights.. n live their own life independently....


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in case u noe.. mi illness is driving mi crazy... wadeva insomnia shit im suffering frm.. nt exactly imsomnia actly.. it's jus dat mentally im unable to calm down n i cant sleep in peace.. so shit.. n i feel tired all day regardless of the number of hrs of slpi haf..
i dread slping becos every nite b4 i go bed i tell miself to ignore mi muscle spasms n tell mi brain n body to relax too but it nver seems to work... the more i tell miself not to do so.. the more i cant do so
every time i start dreaming.. i make it a pt to b a natural reaction to open mi eyes immediately to prevent miself frm dreaming.. i dream of every single thing.. nitemares.. beautiful dreams.. it's a mixture.. but recently nightmares has been more frequent b4 im awoken for a rude shock...

recently i dreamt of miself volunteering at a mental hospital.. n i saw mani crazy pple.. dat i was freaked out in mi dream.. one included a gal hu wans properly dressed n dere were tubes all over her body.. n dno why.. her body was yellow for sum weird reason...
i was damn grossed out
i wna noe why am i dreaming such things...

i dread slping thou im friggling tired... mi doctor alr prescribed mi medicine to calm mi brain.. n yesterdae for a moment.. migraines set in.. n i rested on mi bed.. for the fers time in dat hour.. i slept peacefully...

las nite was a torture again.. n i so swear dat if dis cont'd im gna go crazy.. im super tired now again.. n the doctor says.. mi heartbeat is beating too fast at relaxed state.. damned mi body.. i wonder why it's so screwed up..

yes... now it's bed time again grace...